Being ok with who I am....

Growing up I always wanted to be a nurse. And not just a nurse but I wanted to work with children,help them. When I was 15 years old my younger brother then age 9 was hit by a truck. He died 3 times and was in a coma for a while,when he finally came out (thank God) he was moved to the Pediatrics unit. We spent a lot of time at the hospital with him and I got to see and talk with a lot of the nurses there. It was then that I decided that I was the be a pediatric nurse that specializes in nicu. Now lets move forward a few years.........

I am a young woman and marry my husband we are pregnant with our first child. My whole outlook on life changed. I no longer wanted to be a nurse but I wanted to be a momma and a wife. I felt that was the calling that God wanted for me.

Feeling that God's calling for my life was the be a mom and homemaker was ok until I got around career women. Talk about feeling inadequate,oh did I ever. They were so educated and so successful and from where I was sitting it seemed like they had it all. It was hard for me to talk to them because we really didn't have much in common. They had their careers and family and well I just had my family. They would kind of look down on me for my choices in life. Like I was choosing beneath me. But when I would tell them my desire to be a mom and wife and stay home to take care of my home and children and not the day care down the street. Well that didn't go over well at all to say the least. I suppose you could look at it like I struck a nerve. Some would even admit that they wish they could stay home with their children but they just couldn't live on one income.

I have my moments where I feel less than another woman because she helps provide for her family and is educated. Maybe a small part of me wishes that I would have continued my education and got my nursing degree. But then I ask myself at what degree,when do I set the happiness of my family aside to stroke my ego or finish a dream. No that's ok.

I may not be the most educated woman out there and I may not bring in a 6 figure income but I am doing what I love and what the Lord planned for me and my life. And that's ok by me,my worth will not be measured in my degree or how much I make but rather in the time I invest in my children and having a happy healthy marriage. There is so much more to life than chasing the buck or buying the best or running after that dream at the expense of your family. I know that there are women out there that may read this and think I'm nuts or so far behind in the times, that I sound more like a 1950's housewife than a modern strong woman. If that is what you want to think then that's ok, I know what I stand for and I will not back down from it.